Giving & Receiving
The fear of giving is synonymous to the fear of pleasure, happiness, fulfillment, and being in the natural flow of life. Love and pleasure are feared because they require an unguardedness that trusts the spontaneous inner nature of self and of life.
It’s possible you’ve developed a degree of guardedness that has become such second nature that you do not even realize it operating. To decide not to give until you feel a perceived sense of safety or a mutual way to receive goes against the natural laws of abundance and exchange. To give freely is the only way to receive freely. There cannot be any agendas or prerequisites to your giving if you want to experience the love and pleasure of receiving.
Those who are caught in guardedness and defensiveness are essentially numb. They become dead. Their life flow is interrupted by the overly vigilant ego. They have accepted a false belief that another person may be the source of pain, frustration and sadness rather than reflect back what is already waiting within patiently to be uncovered.
The real life is spontaneous.
The resistance of the unknown causes life to be mechanical and rigid, as though it were possible for us to perfectly plan out everything that happens to us. It’s too much to handle the powerlessness of allowing another person free reign over our feelings.
The true joy of giving happens when it isn’t coming from a place of self sacrifice and expectation but a deep visceral enjoyment in the outflow of the energy itself, knowing that even if the object of our affections does not reciprocate we were happy nonetheless and the universe always pays back in kind.