If it wasn't already an aspect of you, you wouldn't be able to perceive it in another.
We live in a holographic reality where your consciousness is projecting everything you perceive. Whenever someone says “you’re projecting” they are right, except that everyone is always projecting everything.
Everything is a reflection or reflections within reflections.
The Akashic records of your soul contain imprints (Samskaras) of everything you have experienced through your visions (déjà vu) thoughts and emotions
Most of your actions are involuntary because they come from the programming of your previous experience on Samsaric (wheel of life) replay. You pull slides of these and project them onto your life experience.
The only true changes come when you recognize that there is only YOU and everything else is your projection. This is what is meant by Self-Realization. Realizing all is Self.
This is how the famous story of the Hoponopono prayer is possible. By reflecting within himself and healing the aspects mirrored externally the doctor was able to heal the external projection just through looking at paper files.
You can only shift a behavior when you are conscious you are doing it. Conscious repetition of new behaviors such as meditation and new thought imprints create new and lasting slides from which to project a new experience.